It’s so heavy. This weight feels like it’s collapsing every cell in my body. I’m trying desperately to move, but I’m buried in the heaviness of what feels like an undertow. It’s hard to breathe. Like I’m coming to the surface, only to be pulled down abruptly by my ankles and submerged deeper into the darkness. I am somehow finding tiny bits of air. But how? Where am I? All I can hear are faint echos of muffled voices and the shallowness of my own breath. Where is everyone? Why am I alone here?
I try to speak, but I’m silenced. I hear the words in my mind, but my voice cannot be found. It’s so dark here. It’s cold. I’m scared. Is this a dream? Please let this be a dream. I’m desperate to wake up. I don’t know how much longer I can make it here. This is too much. My heart aches. I’m missing what used to be. Why can’t I just go back? I don’t want to be here. This unknown is too frightening. But wait. I see a tiny little speck of what appears to be light in the distance. I cling to it. I focus all of my attention on it’s glow. I feel the warmth of this minuscule beam and it begins to consume every fiber of my being. I study every aspect of it’s magnificence. It’s captivating. What is this feeling that is encapsulating my heart? Suddenly...
I feel hope. I feel love. I feel seen. I feel heard. I feel understood.
I feel like freedom is within my reach.
But how? I reach, I push, I pull, I try to grasp but I just can’t seem to get myself closer. I feel desperation. I know that there is so much beyond what I can actually see in this moment and I just want to get there. What do I have to do to make it to the place I want to be? To the place I have dreamed of and envisioned so many times in my mind. What do I have to do? I let go. I surrender. I trust that I’m safe. I trust that I’m guided. I trust that I’m on the right path. I’m grateful. “Thank you” I whisper. And in my moments of trust, surrender, and gratitude the glow of that beautiful light of hope grew. And now it’s enormous. It started shining it’s light on all of these other beautiful earth angels who are on my path and here to guide me. What is even more magical is that I realize I am here to guide them too. I’m not alone. Not ever. I can breathe again. It’s like stepping outside into the sunshine on a fresh Spring day. I can hear again. I hear laughter, I hear happiness. I hear love and I hear encouragement. I can speak again. Only now, I speak my truth and I tell my story with the deep knowing that my words will heal another. This is big work. I can feel again. But this time it’s with so much more depth and passion. It’s with an unconditional love that exists within my heart. Within my soul. This time, the light shines from within. It’s the Rebirth. It’s the Elevation. It’s the Awakening. And the best is yet to come.
Written by Jennifer Navara October 6, 2019